Saturday, June 5, 2010

More and more children

So have you ever noticed when you work with kids that in some way you become more attached to others than you ever intended? 4 years ago I made the decision to become a school bus driver. It was made because I needed a well paying job that could be flexible to my needs as a mom and the wife of a disabled man. It has been that and more.

When I got my bus route I was told that there were some issues. I noticed as I was learning the route from my sister in law who also used to work for the same company that many of the freshmen sat in the way back and the upper classmen sat up front.

So for the first week all was calm and fine. I then had to put the twins on the bus. Someone made the horrific mistake of spraying perfume on the bus and Sebastian's asthma flared up and we wound up in the ER. The next morning, fuming I then wrote up as many as I could figure were involved. The next two weeks were horrific..and if any of the seniors that just graduated tell you any differently, feel free to laugh at them. Food all over the place, friends on and off of the bus, jumping from seat to seat and screaming at the top of their lungs.

Finally, exasperated beyond all means I pulled over. I stood up and informed them that I was not only going to be the bus driver for the rest of this year, but the next year as well. That they had a decision to make. To either learn to get along with me now, or next year, but in the end I was going to win. Later that week my children were on the bus again and they asked to go sit in the back with the freshmen. I asked if the kids could sit back there and they all smiled and said yes. Somehow them seeing me as a mom, and not their bus driver changed them in my eyes and them in mine. They learned that I cared about their safety at all times and that I had a very odd sense of humor that lead to me often making odd faces at drivers when they ticked me off and got in my way while trying to do my job.

There are many funny stories I could tell you about the class of 2010. However, I want to tell you about how special they all are. About my friend Kelsey who I am sure has enriched my life in so many ways I have yet to discover. How when I saw them at the stop smiling to get on and the smile was meant for me and they had something funny to tell me it made my morning and day.

Not once did I ever overstep my boundaries with the kids and involve them in my life. Kelsey though was always different. She became the twins babysitter and from there friend to us all. She has rescued me when Ken was sick and I had nowhere else to turn, and has made my life simpler in so many ways.

I think because I followed this class through it was hard for me to say goodbye. To not see them all come fall will hurt just a bit. However, now that the boundaries of school do not exist I hope to follow many of them through facebook as they all grow and learn even more.

So, to the BVT Senior class of 2010 on VT6. I am proud of you all. Thank you for making my job a good experience as opposed to what it could have been. Thank you for making days brighter and looking at me and realizing that I was more than the person behind the wheel of the school bus and that I do care if you are all alive at the end of the day.

To Kelsey, a very special thank you for becoming part of my family. We will all always love you and be there for you.

Wow Summer is here and with that brings.....

Camp...You know being a mom of twins the first time I sent the twins to camp it was the local community center and girl scout camp. I never sent them together. Just never felt the need.

Another mother of twins has said to me and I quote"you are raising them like they are just a normal brother and sister and if they argue like that then something is wrong with them and you." Really because you have the book on how to do this properly?? I must have missed that parenting memo at the local meeting we have every month.

Camp has now progressed to their sports and a continuation of them. No more bug bites..but a helmet to the gut or a stunt gone wrong is far worse than a bee sting in this house.

The other down side is that these camps cost more. The upside is that both kids continue with sports in hopes that it will provide them leverage when it comes to college. Notice I am more concerned with college. So for now I will gladly go broke over camp, and sending them separately....and no I do not thinking raising twins like normal children is wrong...anyone who does or questions my parenting style is more than welcome to open a nice debate.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Changing blog ideas

Well the blog will be the same but seeing as though sitting on a computer to write something about mothering twins can be difficult some days since I am after all being a about 500 posts about mothering multiples?? I think that will work better for me. I can blog more than once a day if it strikes me or not for a week if I run into life being

Thursday, May 20, 2010


Forget the husband..that is a permanent pet..

As the twins have gotten older pets have remained a fixture with the exception of 4 years that I lived in a townhouse and no pets were allowed other than fish or birds.

Speaking of fish...

Here is why I do not have fish now...other than the black molly that had a massive amount of babies that lead to a 55 gallon tank.

So here is the story...Sebastian and Zoe were 3. I was about two months away from moving in with my current husband Ken. I was on the phone talking to Ken, turned around and there were bubbles coming out of the filter. Sebastian had grabbed the dish soap and put it in the tank. I screamed...hung up on Ken...and Seb looked at me and said...but Mommy...the fish needed a bath! They were dirty!

Every fish was dead within a matter of minutes. The last to die was a goldfish and the only thing to survive was a crab.

Now we have two cats, a dog and two gerbils...and a kitten on the way...NO FISH....

Days to go 358
Entries to go 357

I distinctly remember saying that I wanted a normal life

Now not that it means I will get it. Sorry for missing on the blog yesterday...seems like life gets crazy and now I want to exercise at home 3 nights a week. That is my goal. Every day just will not happen. However three days is obtainable.

I lost a lot of weight after the twins were born but have noticed over the last 11 years that I am almost heavier than I was when I was 9 months pregnant. Not time to take my life back under control. Never let having multiples slow you think you are always moving but nope....

Small post...just enough to make a point.

Days to go 358
Entries to go 358

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

The amount of time dictates parenting style

I mean who writes these books anyway....must breast feed, must bond, must hold and rub a lot during the first few months because you will not bond. After all...those 9 months of them hearing your heart beat, moving completely in sync with you...mean nothing. You MUST hold the child or children non stop or you are a bad mother.

Now if you have a book like this I suggest the following.....Contact the publisher and tell them that you really are going to boycott this book and possibly any future books published by them since they prefer nonsense. Then burn the book.

If you want to think that you are going to be a bad parent, well guess one is perfect and other than do not beat, starve, or overall neglect your children....really no one has the one correct way to raise a child other than love.

Bouncy seats and baby swings were my best friends until the twins could feed themselves in a high chair. I opted to NOT breast feed. They came home eating 4 ounce bottles...doing that to me was just NOT a good idea.

I would try to time it so one child ate 15 minutes earlier than the other one. That way I could have one in a bouncy seat or swing keeping him or her calm at the moment. If for some reason I was not done with the first twin when the other chimed up...they screamed for a few minutes. Guess what..never killed them. One of them and two of me meant someone was going to wait and it was never going to be me. I had to stay alert and focused. I became and still am like a drill sergeant in so many ways. Diapers, wipes, change of clothes and bottles filled with water waiting for powder formula were all lined up in the AM.

This way it was clean focus and try to relax in between the madness.

The first three months with twins will make you cry...just a fact not feel bad for crying...or walking away for a moment when they start screaming at the same time to regain composure.

All parents are calm with one child screaming....two or more can be harrowing.

Somewhere around three months there is a light at the end of the tunnel. The screaming stops, they start doing things and you start to breathe and think...ok I might survive...

Think are sucked just got a minor reprieve is

Days to go 360
Entries to go 359

Monday, May 17, 2010

Today I feel like a responsible adult

When I was 25 and had the twins I still had not grown out of the the bill is just an idea that I should pay it. That the yellow notice is what you are looking for.

Yeah...funny how electricity and hot water help with raising kids.

So 11 years ago as I finally began to pay bills on time and getting my life in order I remember a phone call I received when the twins were about to be born. It was from my ex boyfriend Marc Yost. We had bought a house together. He then decided that I was a punching bag, and I ran for my life..quite literally.

He defaulted on the loan and well this being before the time that banks had to help you...he lost the house.

The phone calls was basically him still abusing me in one form or another saying it was my fault and my responsibility to deal with it all.


So now as I fill out forms for camp, and pay the gas bill at 11pm at night since it was due today. I am thankful that I did wake up and learn.

Days to go 360
Entries to go 359

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Why does every sentence I end for the last 11 years end with, get me the crazy glue?

Ok so here is a known fact about children. They break things. The term "baby proofing" to me simply means moving everything breakable out of the way because one too many things were grabbed and "accidentally" broken.

I figured ok the first year or two not bad...and when you have twins do not double the amount of things that will be broken...quadruple it. They will do their own thing and break things by themselves and then team up together and find a whole other realm of things to break.

I mean toys would just look like a lawn mower got a hold of them...and even now a picture frame is found hidden in a corner because someone is afraid that I will scream that it was broken since it was a Christmas present.

I rarely scream over anything but huge messes anymore. Not worth my time. I very often find a pile of shirts, pants and other items needing to be sewn. At times like that I am honestly pleased that my mother taught me how to mend clothing as I am certain it has undoubtedly saved me hundreds of dollars over the years.

However when it comes to toys I find that a needle and thread very often are not enough. It is at that point I am fond of the invention of crazy glue. It holds everything together. Including my sanity of not having to run out and buy something to replace what was broken!

So for the last 11 years I swear to you, I end at least one sentence a day with;"where is the crazy glue?"

Always keep at least two containers handy. It will definitely be worth it!

Days to go 362
Entries to go 361

Saturday, May 15, 2010

I knew this day would come eventually

So for all of you mother's of singletons.....Remember that joyous day your child was born in the room with your loving husband at your side? You were told about C-Sections and what bad things could happen but it was rare and not to worry.

You know the minute they say you are having multiples it is almost like they are prepping you for a train wreck...and for good reason. I think the entire day the twins were born was one train wreck to the next.

My husband S was in a ticked off mood. Did not know what he was doing with the van that day..I think nerves got the better of him. We got in there and he and my friend Maureen were just all nerves. I walk in and they look at me and go...OMG do you want a wheelchair? No seriously, I am having a C-Section....let me walk while I I get all registered, go upstairs and find myself in my room and just sit..and let it all sink 1030 am I said ok in a few hours I will officially be a mother! Of twins at that!!

Since the birth itself is not that much to tell I will give the highlights...

One of the nurses had a son who was in my father's class at the high school he taught at.

When you have twins there are two sets of for each baby of course....two nurses, well for me and one for each baby...three dr's again for the same reason.

They got Zoe out so fast.....they lifted her up and I noticed she was HUGE....then I felt a tug as they lifted my ribs to get to Sebastian...he came out screaming!!

As they sewed me up my husband S went out and told everyone what was going on and to check on the babies. Being a planned C-Section my mother, father, sister, brother and friends were in the waiting room.

They came in and told me that Zoe's apgar scores were 9,10 and Seb's were 10,10

That they had weighed Zoe three times...and shocked each time...she topped the scales at 10 lbs 7.6 oz....a huge difference from the 9 lbs 5 oz they were expecting!

Sebastian was 7 lbs and 11 oz.

Zoe was 19 1/2 inches long

Seb was 19 3/4 inches long

To put this into perspective for younger sister just had a baby boy last week and Cooper weighed 7 lbs even and was 19 inches long.

So from birth my twins have been anything but normal.

By evening, I was already up and moving around. I just knew it was imperative to get back to me as soon as possible for the twins. A few bumps here and there.....Zoe had to be put on soy, I had blood pressure issues...and S threw a fit about Sebastian's name....wanted to name the poor child Wolfgang.

I won on all fronts and on May 11 the Dr came in and said, "Ok you are going home today, enjoy the rest of your life with your children."

Finally! I knew this day would come eventually.

Days to go 363
Entries to go 362

Friday, May 14, 2010

Not the norm

So when I think about my life up until this point I wonder exactly....what is the norm? My mother could tell you nothing for me was normal. I mean what else would you say to your daughter that could recite the prologue to the original Star Trek TV Series before her ABC's? I never seem to ever quite fit in. A sea of blond straight haired girls and I had the thickest curliest hair ever. My own parents commenting a few times that I could be pretty if.

Years later I have found my own way and that I am my own person. Along the way I found my first husband. S and I were best friends from the get go. He had this sense of humor that just reeled me right in and he understood about being the outcast. He fell for me harder than I him and he begged me to marry him three times. I finally said yes, figuring that any man who hated Star Wars but was willing to propose to me the third time during Empire Strikes Back in a loaded movie theater had to be worth it.

We were married on October 31, 1997. By September of 98 I was pregnant. Now the beginning part of the pregnancy was normal...except for the non stop morning sickness. No idea what deranged human being(more than likely male) called this morning sickness when it lasts ALL day long, unless they mean MOURNING sickness as in mourning a time I was not hurling non stop. To add insult to injury at the time I was a manager for a huge video store and would have to do the 50 yard dash to the back of the store where the bathrooms were located.

By 7 months I was unable by my company's standards to work in such a large store. For the record this is called discrimination. If I had the mind then that I do know life would have been so much easier. I guess this is why wisdom comes with age. So you can kick yourself in the rear for the mistakes you made and wince all over again. I was transferred to a smaller store that was closer to home. This however lead to me having to work alone, which was even worse. I had to hold my bladder for hours and wound up with several UTI's. One was so bad that it sent me into early labor. At 31 weeks I was told that I needed to stop working. S showed the first sign of his true colors when he looked at me and said, well don't think I am getting a second job so you can stay on bedrest. So I went against Dr's orders and worked until 37 weeks.

I can only say that those 6 weeks were pure hell. It is also the reason why I have never had any more children since the twins. I was swollen, achy, sick and was working 40 hours a week for a company that could care less if I gave birth to the twins in the store and kept on working.

You know people the last time I checked this is not China and not all women are relegated to working in the rice fields. Therefore women in the workplace while pregnant need to be respected. However, I often call working in retail legal torture.

At 37 weeks S finally relented and got a second job. I stayed home by myself watching TV cursing and hoping the twins would get out. No such luck. I remember talking to my Aunt, my mother who both reminded me that I would not always be pregnant.

At 38 weeks the nurses in the OBGYN office (by the way, I hated my OBGYN) begged the Dr to take me. He refused. He and S had gotten into a heated discussion a few weeks prior and I was told that if I wanted to continue my care there he was no longer allowed in the office. You know another DUH moment....I should have walked out and found another OBGYN...because S was absolutely correct. I was being tortured for no reason. Term for twins is 37 weeks. No reason to keep me going.

So finally at 39 weeks I told the Dr if I was pregnant for another week I was almost certain that either the babies or I would be dead(not joking). He sighed and finally agreed to "let me have my way" and have a C-Section.

So that is where I am going to leave this for today.

Here is a lesson for all pregnant women. Does not matter if it is your first or your third pregnancy. NEVER let a Dr dictate your care to you. Be in control. If not, find another OBGYN.

Days to go 364
Entries to go 363

Now playing: Blue Foundation - Eyes On Fire
via FoxyTunes

Thursday, May 13, 2010

It all starts two days before you turn 25

Well not exactly. I knew in September of 1998 that I was pregnant. It was not planned but my ex husband and I were happy and were thinking of all of the wonderful things we would do with our child and how much fun we would have being parents.

Now please understand before you read the following that I love my children and cannot imagine my life without them at all. All blogs will deal with my frame of mind at that time and my reflection on it now.

So on December 18, 1998, two days before my 25th birthday my life forever changed in an earth shattering way. Not at all welcome and it shook me right to my core. Now being my first pregnancy I had no idea what to expect, or that the ultrasound should not have been scheduled for an hour. It would have been nice if the Dr had told me that they thought there might be twins, but left that part out. So the ultrasound tech is pressing hard on my very overfull bladder when she says, "Do you see what I see?" I said no...because I was half blinded with pain of needing to go to the bathroom so bad I just about peed the table. My ex husband who we will just call S, said I see two...I said nooooooooooo, and she said yes!! TWINS!!

I think I was just numb. I could not even focus and not sure how I made it to the bathroom to finally release my bladder. What I do remember is crying in the waiting room. Saying I was not sure how I was going to handle one baby, and two was just insane. It all wore off within 24 hours. I had in fact baby sat most of my teenage years and was more than prepared for feedings, diapers and tantrums. It was just the initial shock that got to me. Soon my mind was wrapped around the news and that it was more than likely one of each. A boy and a girl. The possibilities seemed endless to me at that point but I knew I needed a bigger apartment! Plans were soon in place to move by February since we were not sure what risks we were going to encounter with the pregnancy.

Three baby showers later come March I was more than ready to not be pregnant anymore. However the birth will wait for another entry.

So....that is how this all started..two days before my 25th birthday.

Happy birthday to me!

Days to go 365
Entries to go 364

Multiples will fall

So everything in my life is in two's. Two cats, for a while two dogs, on my second husband and I have two children. More importantly those children are twins.

Here is my enter a blog entry every day. I will start with the beginning with the pregnancy of the twins, go through their infant and toddler years with you and by the end of the year reach their current age.

Why do this? Are their not enough books about multiples. Yes there are plenty. They all say the same thing and offer parenting advice that has been stuffed down our throats. I am not offering parenting advice. I am offering a survival guide as I am sure I am not the only one to endure the pitfalls that have occurred in my life twins, singleton, or triplets and more. Just that in this life multiples will fall, and how we deal with it all makes us who we are.

I hope this blog reaches many readers and finds a chord with all of you.

Days to go 365
Entries to make 365