Saturday, June 5, 2010

More and more children

So have you ever noticed when you work with kids that in some way you become more attached to others than you ever intended? 4 years ago I made the decision to become a school bus driver. It was made because I needed a well paying job that could be flexible to my needs as a mom and the wife of a disabled man. It has been that and more.

When I got my bus route I was told that there were some issues. I noticed as I was learning the route from my sister in law who also used to work for the same company that many of the freshmen sat in the way back and the upper classmen sat up front.

So for the first week all was calm and fine. I then had to put the twins on the bus. Someone made the horrific mistake of spraying perfume on the bus and Sebastian's asthma flared up and we wound up in the ER. The next morning, fuming I then wrote up as many as I could figure were involved. The next two weeks were horrific..and if any of the seniors that just graduated tell you any differently, feel free to laugh at them. Food all over the place, friends on and off of the bus, jumping from seat to seat and screaming at the top of their lungs.

Finally, exasperated beyond all means I pulled over. I stood up and informed them that I was not only going to be the bus driver for the rest of this year, but the next year as well. That they had a decision to make. To either learn to get along with me now, or next year, but in the end I was going to win. Later that week my children were on the bus again and they asked to go sit in the back with the freshmen. I asked if the kids could sit back there and they all smiled and said yes. Somehow them seeing me as a mom, and not their bus driver changed them in my eyes and them in mine. They learned that I cared about their safety at all times and that I had a very odd sense of humor that lead to me often making odd faces at drivers when they ticked me off and got in my way while trying to do my job.

There are many funny stories I could tell you about the class of 2010. However, I want to tell you about how special they all are. About my friend Kelsey who I am sure has enriched my life in so many ways I have yet to discover. How when I saw them at the stop smiling to get on and the smile was meant for me and they had something funny to tell me it made my morning and day.

Not once did I ever overstep my boundaries with the kids and involve them in my life. Kelsey though was always different. She became the twins babysitter and from there friend to us all. She has rescued me when Ken was sick and I had nowhere else to turn, and has made my life simpler in so many ways.

I think because I followed this class through it was hard for me to say goodbye. To not see them all come fall will hurt just a bit. However, now that the boundaries of school do not exist I hope to follow many of them through facebook as they all grow and learn even more.

So, to the BVT Senior class of 2010 on VT6. I am proud of you all. Thank you for making my job a good experience as opposed to what it could have been. Thank you for making days brighter and looking at me and realizing that I was more than the person behind the wheel of the school bus and that I do care if you are all alive at the end of the day.

To Kelsey, a very special thank you for becoming part of my family. We will all always love you and be there for you.

Wow Summer is here and with that brings.....

Camp...You know being a mom of twins the first time I sent the twins to camp it was the local community center and girl scout camp. I never sent them together. Just never felt the need.

Another mother of twins has said to me and I quote"you are raising them like they are just a normal brother and sister and if they argue like that then something is wrong with them and you." Really because you have the book on how to do this properly?? I must have missed that parenting memo at the local meeting we have every month.

Camp has now progressed to their sports and a continuation of them. No more bug bites..but a helmet to the gut or a stunt gone wrong is far worse than a bee sting in this house.

The other down side is that these camps cost more. The upside is that both kids continue with sports in hopes that it will provide them leverage when it comes to college. Notice I am more concerned with college. So for now I will gladly go broke over camp, and sending them separately....and no I do not thinking raising twins like normal children is wrong...anyone who does or questions my parenting style is more than welcome to open a nice debate.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Changing blog ideas

Well the blog will be the same but seeing as though sitting on a computer to write something about mothering twins can be difficult some days since I am after all being a mom..how about 500 posts about mothering multiples?? I think that will work better for me. I can blog more than once a day if it strikes me or not for a week if I run into life being well...life...

Thursday, May 20, 2010

NO FISH

Forget the husband..that is a permanent pet..

As the twins have gotten older pets have remained a fixture with the exception of 4 years that I lived in a townhouse and no pets were allowed other than fish or birds.

Speaking of fish...

Here is why I do not have fish now...other than the black molly that had a massive amount of babies that lead to a 55 gallon tank.

So here is the story...Sebastian and Zoe were 3. I was about two months away from moving in with my current husband Ken. I was on the phone talking to Ken, turned around and there were bubbles coming out of the filter. Sebastian had grabbed the dish soap and put it in the tank. I screamed...hung up on Ken...and Seb looked at me and said...but Mommy...the fish needed a bath! They were dirty!

Every fish was dead within a matter of minutes. The last to die was a goldfish and the only thing to survive was a crab.

Now we have two cats, a dog and two gerbils...and a kitten on the way...NO FISH....

Days to go 358
Entries to go 357

I distinctly remember saying that I wanted a normal life

Now not that it means I will get it. Sorry for missing on the blog yesterday...seems like life gets crazy and now I want to exercise at home 3 nights a week. That is my goal. Every day just will not happen. However three days is obtainable.

I lost a lot of weight after the twins were born but have noticed over the last 11 years that I am almost heavier than I was when I was 9 months pregnant. Not good....so time to take my life back under control. Never let having multiples slow you down...you think you are always moving but nope....

Small post...just enough to make a point.

Days to go 358
Entries to go 358

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

The amount of time dictates parenting style

I mean who writes these books anyway....must breast feed, must bond, must hold and rub a lot during the first few months because you will not bond. After all...those 9 months of them hearing your heart beat, moving completely in sync with you...mean nothing. You MUST hold the child or children non stop or you are a bad mother.

Now if you have a book like this I suggest the following.....Contact the publisher and tell them that you really are going to boycott this book and possibly any future books published by them since they prefer nonsense. Then burn the book.

If you want to think that you are going to be a bad parent, well guess what...no one is perfect and other than do not beat, starve, or overall neglect your children....really no one has the one correct way to raise a child other than love.

Bouncy seats and baby swings were my best friends until the twins could feed themselves in a high chair. I opted to NOT breast feed. They came home eating 4 ounce bottles...doing that to me was just NOT a good idea.

I would try to time it so one child ate 15 minutes earlier than the other one. That way I could have one in a bouncy seat or swing keeping him or her calm at the moment. If for some reason I was not done with the first twin when the other chimed up...they screamed for a few minutes. Guess what..never killed them. One of them and two of me meant someone was going to wait and it was never going to be me. I had to stay alert and focused. I became and still am like a drill sergeant in so many ways. Diapers, wipes, change of clothes and bottles filled with water waiting for powder formula were all lined up in the AM.

This way it was clean focus and try to relax in between the madness.

The first three months with twins will make you cry...just a fact people...do not feel bad for crying...or walking away for a moment when they start screaming at the same time to regain composure.

All parents are calm with one child screaming....two or more can be harrowing.

Somewhere around three months there is a light at the end of the tunnel. The screaming stops, they start doing things and you start to breathe and think...ok I might survive...

Think again..you are sucked in...you just got a minor reprieve is all....lol


Days to go 360
Entries to go 359

Monday, May 17, 2010

Today I feel like a responsible adult

When I was 25 and had the twins I still had not grown out of the the bill is just an idea that I should pay it. That the yellow notice is what you are looking for.

Yeah...funny how electricity and hot water help with raising kids.

So 11 years ago as I finally began to pay bills on time and getting my life in order I remember a phone call I received when the twins were about to be born. It was from my ex boyfriend Marc Yost. We had bought a house together. He then decided that I was a punching bag, and I ran for my life..quite literally.

He defaulted on the loan and well this being before the time that banks had to help you...he lost the house.

The phone calls was basically him still abusing me in one form or another saying it was my fault and my responsibility to deal with it all.

Whatever....

So now as I fill out forms for camp, and pay the gas bill at 11pm at night since it was due today. I am thankful that I did wake up and learn.


Days to go 360
Entries to go 359