Friday, May 14, 2010

Not the norm

So when I think about my life up until this point I wonder exactly....what is the norm? My mother could tell you nothing for me was normal. I mean what else would you say to your daughter that could recite the prologue to the original Star Trek TV Series before her ABC's? I never seem to ever quite fit in. A sea of blond straight haired girls and I had the thickest curliest hair ever. My own parents commenting a few times that I could be pretty if.

Years later I have found my own way and that I am my own person. Along the way I found my first husband. S and I were best friends from the get go. He had this sense of humor that just reeled me right in and he understood about being the outcast. He fell for me harder than I him and he begged me to marry him three times. I finally said yes, figuring that any man who hated Star Wars but was willing to propose to me the third time during Empire Strikes Back in a loaded movie theater had to be worth it.

We were married on October 31, 1997. By September of 98 I was pregnant. Now the beginning part of the pregnancy was normal...except for the non stop morning sickness. No idea what deranged human being(more than likely male) called this morning sickness when it lasts ALL day long, unless they mean MOURNING sickness as in mourning a time I was not hurling non stop. To add insult to injury at the time I was a manager for a huge video store and would have to do the 50 yard dash to the back of the store where the bathrooms were located.

By 7 months I was unable by my company's standards to work in such a large store. For the record this is called discrimination. If I had the mind then that I do know life would have been so much easier. I guess this is why wisdom comes with age. So you can kick yourself in the rear for the mistakes you made and wince all over again. I was transferred to a smaller store that was closer to home. This however lead to me having to work alone, which was even worse. I had to hold my bladder for hours and wound up with several UTI's. One was so bad that it sent me into early labor. At 31 weeks I was told that I needed to stop working. S showed the first sign of his true colors when he looked at me and said, well don't think I am getting a second job so you can stay on bedrest. So I went against Dr's orders and worked until 37 weeks.

I can only say that those 6 weeks were pure hell. It is also the reason why I have never had any more children since the twins. I was swollen, achy, sick and was working 40 hours a week for a company that could care less if I gave birth to the twins in the store and kept on working.

You know people the last time I checked this is not China and not all women are relegated to working in the rice fields. Therefore women in the workplace while pregnant need to be respected. However, I often call working in retail legal torture.

At 37 weeks S finally relented and got a second job. I stayed home by myself watching TV cursing and hoping the twins would get out. No such luck. I remember talking to my Aunt, my mother who both reminded me that I would not always be pregnant.

At 38 weeks the nurses in the OBGYN office (by the way, I hated my OBGYN) begged the Dr to take me. He refused. He and S had gotten into a heated discussion a few weeks prior and I was told that if I wanted to continue my care there he was no longer allowed in the office. You know another DUH moment....I should have walked out and found another OBGYN...because S was absolutely correct. I was being tortured for no reason. Term for twins is 37 weeks. No reason to keep me going.

So finally at 39 weeks I told the Dr if I was pregnant for another week I was almost certain that either the babies or I would be dead(not joking). He sighed and finally agreed to "let me have my way" and have a C-Section.

So that is where I am going to leave this for today.

Here is a lesson for all pregnant women. Does not matter if it is your first or your third pregnancy. NEVER let a Dr dictate your care to you. Be in control. If not, find another OBGYN.

Days to go 364
Entries to go 363

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